Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Secretive Speed---I'm a TT Rider

Lowes Motor Speedway Time Trial series starts Thursday, April 18th.

Yes, I'm a little guilty ;-)

Friday, March 23, 2012

You Don't Have to Cheat! (well...maybe you do)

Okay guys....you really don't have to stoop to this level to beat me on Strava.  All it takes it hard work, focus, suffering, genetics, buns of steel, quads that crush, calves that could slice your finger if you touched them....and a good course of PEDs.

Really guys?  Really?  How To Cheat at Strava.  I've figured out your game now.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

I just crush a lot...

I've come to the conclusion that none of the current paper-thin, carbon frames are crush proof.  Frames should be made and designed for crushers and not these little dainty debutantes that dance lightly on the pedals. Yet another cracked frame. Oh well, I have only good things to say about how Scott has handled my frame issues in the past...5 times are so.  Scott needs to forget these "pro" guys in Europe and start designing frames for real riders...riders that have only one steed to crush on, and not 5!

I was a little miffed at #5 cracking, so I contacted Scott's R&D department.

Scott: "Are you fat?"
Me: "No, I'm 195lbs, and I crush a lot"
Scott: "So, you are fat?"
Me: "No, I'm 6-5, and I crush a lot"
Scott: "Have you crashed the bike?"
Me: "No, I have impeccable bike handling skills, and I crush a lot."
Scott: "Haven't we replaced multiple frames for you?"
Me: "Yes, as I said, I crush a lot."
Scott: "We have not been having problems with cracking frames thus far with our other customers."
Me: "As I said before, I crush a lot. Why is this hard to understand?"
Scott: "Maybe we need to get you a special proto-type frame that is crush-proof to test for us."
Me: "Yes, that would be boss.  I crush a lot."
Scott: "We could call the line of frames the Scott Boss for the bad-ass crushers and bosses across the country."
Me: "No, I'm the only boss. I crush a lot."

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Tuesday Night World Championships

I missed the first edition of the TNWC this year and decided to clear my schedule and put the cat amongst the pigeons this week. The weather was just freakin' awesome and the pollen count, no so much.  By the end of the race, I was blowing yellow powder out my nostrils. It was good to see some of local lads out giving it a go, guys that I would love to train with on the regular, but live so dang far away.

I didn't really frequent the TNWC last year and was told that because of my absence the participation had waned. I can understand why this happened, but then it really hit home when I looked around at the start-line and counted about 14guys....maybe.  I think a smaller, second wave of guys joined shortly after we started.  It's so hard to get an accurate count when everyone is behind you.  We have to get this thing going big again.  Let's boss it up! Can't let this one disappear on us. Chat amongst your riding buddies and get them to show up. (but just stay out of my way).

The pace was somewhere around 25.9mph after neutral lap and the usual suspects were the ones upping the pace.  Good stuff.  It was good to see the "Mutant" again--how many times can that dude attack? and keep attacking? Gordo, who has the finest hair on the East coast, gave me a great lead out and gap from the rest of the bunch. @sufferfest, who faintly smelled like an IPA and who went by me mumbling something about "Ranger Danger!"  Mark Williams, who has an sudden attack that is super hard to stay with...that guy can flat out accelerate. Blance, who I thought would have chased me down but was too busy looking at his maximum wattage numbers.

As I said on Twitter, I may show up next week to defend...or just keep the loot and stay on my side of town and ride a TT bike since LMS series is upon us.  If you have not signed up for Strava, do so.  It's pretty cool and you can follow all your favorite peeps and become your own world champion.

My new wheels to fit the occasion.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Winter Training

Anyone that knows anything about how cycling teams work, knows that during the winter training camps, team members get together for some type of team-building activities and to pose for pictures, usually in some type of position or situation that is borderline homoerotic. But of course, we are secure in our own sexuality to know that this is just bros doing what we do.  If you will remember, I posted something about this last year here. (Training Camp Protocol) 

I'll include a couple of innocent, nothing sketchy, pics to prove my point:

So, this cold morning, I enshrouded the Bonts in booties of fleece, grabbed a couple of Mixed Berry @Mix1 and set out on the road at 8am for a quick little winter training ride and to further our Team male bonding activities. For some reason, @rgjowers didn't want to bond and instead opted to just hang off the back for the latter part of the ride. In his defense, he does have a broken hand. We were joined by @ghippssc, @boleary, Kevin 'The Calf', and Dr$ or 'McDiesel', sporting $20K Reynold RZR wheels. And before you criticize the last part of that statement, you best realize that this is how we roll.....hard!

We decided to go with the @ghippssc mapped route :http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/34872658

It was a nice, varied route that provided challenging climbs for the members (easy for me). It had one store stop where you could take a pick of the 40oz beverage of your choosing...malt, it's a carb you know.

The guys as they climbed.  And yes, the sun was shining bright and @rgjowers has on a bright yellow vest, but, SAFETY FIRST.

A view from the front.  Notice my shadow on the road giving them a thumbs up for how easy the effort was for me.

It was a great ride, more FTP work tomorrow and more team building activities to look forward to.

Oh, and another thing, I didn't have the heart to tell the guys that I did the entire ride with one leg...shhhh.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

The one time that Bont has failed me...

When you are the type of person that appreciates the finer things in the cycling world(bikes, gear, fashion)you better have a companion that does the same. Why would I don such fine cycling slippers and NOT expect my bitch NOT to appreciate them, be drawn to them, and savor everything about them too?(And no, I'm not talking about Mrs. RideLikeJamie) I mean, they are white Bont Vaypors for Thor's god's sake, why wouldn't my bitch be attracted to them like a dog is drawn to peanut butter?

Nevermind that these Bontastic slippers of the cycling gods were realized through a special one-time sponsorship deal and were wielded and fine-tuned to my feet through the kiln-like heat of my oven at precise temperatures that only I could stand, no...these Bonts were special.

Bont(I know you are reading), you have outdone yourself and I partly put some of the blame on you.  You have created cycling slippers that not only induce a trance-like gaze and a "I have to have them or else" mentality to the human species, you have created a slipper that creates an attraction that crosses over species. I think you owe me.  Nowhere on the box did it say ANYTHING about this fact. Agree?

After discovering my fine bitch savoring every flavor and note of Australian goodness, how could I be angry? She evidently could discern slight hints of kangaroo hide and notes of Thor Hushovd's sweat as he crossed the finish line in the TdF, arms raised. I mean, she's a bitch that knows what she wants. Plain and simple. Why wouldn't I have her by my side? It's how I roll.

The really funny thing is that she passed up the Northwaves to get to the Bonts...she evidently is not into pasta.

Bont...let's talk.  Maybe we can work something out since you did fail on informing the consumer about bitches and Bonts. Right now, a lawsuit is the furthest thing from my mind. I look forward to hearing from you.

It seems like yesterday that they arrived at my door...

Friday, December 16, 2011

Rudolph's Rampage

This Sunday, make sure to sign up for and race at Haribson State Forest. Check out the link: http://activecolumbia.com/

 I'll be on hand.  Although Cycle Center would not guarantee me my asking price to participate, I guess I'll still go ahead and race. Why not...eh?

I'm gonna try and get some of the RidelikeJamie groupies fans to come out to cheer you on.